written by the groom...
I am not quite sure how to tell this story, but I have told it quite a few times...
I had spent a few years on Lavalife looking for that inevitable person that I would want to date and perhaps one day have a future with. I had ventured out on quite a few expeditions that ranged from the strange to the deranged. I had dates where the comment "I'll eat anything" was said to me but being naive I didn't realize that what she meant was the she ate everything. I also had a first date that proceeded to yell at me in the restaurant because I offered to replace her meal because she was not happy with the food. She proceeded to explain to me that she did not need my help to do any of these types of chivalrous acts and that she could handle it herself. Handle it she did as she proceeded to yell at the server, manager and anyone else that was in her path. I just wanted to crawl inside my shirt as I was never so embarrassed in my life. After all of this I had just about enough and was ready to call it a night when she asks, "where do you want to go now"? I was shocked and flat out told her that we were not going anywhere and that she should go and search lavalife again.
This now brings me to the story of my future better half.
Donna and I met on Lavalife and she had sent me a "smile" which for those who are not familiar with the system is like a wink in a bar. I was a bit curious but hesitant. After my last experience and the prior two years of using this type of dating tool I was just not in the mood to be wasting anymore of my time. Yet, I still did decide that we would chat and see where this journey would take me. We chatted over the next several weeks with the promise of meeting but that soon faded and she was no where to be found. I took a hiatus from the system and decided that I would try other avenues of dating such as friends setting me up but that was another nightmare and another story.
Months passed and occasionally I would see what was happening on Lavalife and if anyone had shown any interest in my profile. This led to another series of really bad dates and I kept asking myself why would I put myself through this torture. I decided that I would take another break from the system and even swearing that I would never use it again.
A few more months had passed and like magic out of the blue I receive an e-mail from Donna. I try and play it cool for a bit and finally cut the small talk and find out where she had gone. I was told some BS story that she had busy ~ yada yada yada. I decided that I had nothing to lose and there was something about her I liked and it definitely was not her picture as it did her no justice. We chatted again for a few weeks and decided we would definitely meet this time...I was thinking ya right! Just as she had the first time she had vanished into thin air again.
The Christmas of 2003 passed and New Years, with me longing to still find my other half. In January of 2004 I decided to get my fix again as I had done real well but like an addictive drug I was back searching through the profiles to see if anything would peak my interest. To my surprise I met an interesting person and we really hit it off. I still had a nagging feeling in me that though this person was fun to be around I didn't have the feelings that I was supposed to have. I thought that with time that would change. In March of 2004 I decided that I could not continue this relationship and decided to tell her. I will say that it was hard to do and that it did not go well but it had to be done. Little did I know what was waiting for me.
April passed with me laying low and not really wanting to go through that type of drama again. In laying low I kept myself busy at work and with friends. Just when it seemed that I was destined for dating hell, a miracle happens. I decided to check my hotmail account, which was a rare event, and what do I find...an e-mail from Madame Butterfly...this was Donna's alias. I decided that I would play it cool and string her along for a while as I have seen "Runaway bride" once to often with this girl. We proceeded to chat for a week or so until I decided that I would pop the big question to her. That is right, "Will you go out on a date with me?" I had all intentions just to go meet her and end the night quickly to give her a taste of her own medicine.
It was the day of the big date and something just did not feel right. I did not have my usual symptoms of a blind date, you know that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach, the uncertainty of what you will talk about, and will she look worse than her picture. I had my new car in the shop and had a loaner truck for the big event. We decide to meet in her neck of the woods and she makes all the plans as I decided the least I could do is leave her in a part of town where she is close to home. On my drive I decide to call my buddy Mike and tell him that it should be a short night and that I would probably meet up with him when I was done.
I pull into the parking lot, gave myself a quick look in the mirror to ensure that all my hair was in place and a quick smile to myself. I walked up to the front door where we had agreed to meet, all confident, all assured. I walked in and could not believe my eyes...this magician had left me speechless...she was not anything like her picture...at this point I had lost all the self-confidence and composure I had walked in with. I now had to come up with a new game plan as I had already decided that she was a keeper. We proceeded to have dinner and the conversation flowed so well...from her that is...as I was still in awe of this woman. Seconds turned into minutes, minutes into hours and before we knew it was getting late. I drove her home and dropped her off.
I had discovered that her disappearing act was because she had met someone else on Lavalife while we were chatting and decided to date him as he lived closer to her. This did not make much sense to me but I thought that maybe this was the way it was meant to be and that if we had met prior to that it may not have worked out. I jokingly refer myself, from time to time, as the "second choice".
On the ride home I was so confused as I tried to regain my composure and tried to put what just happened into perspective. I think that at some point I even called my friend and told him that I had just met the most incredible person. I decided that I would let things evolve on their own and not get too excited. This is exactly how things turned out with us dating once a week. This time it was different though as I had all the symptoms of being nervous and anxious.
The next few months we started discovering how well we got along and that we had quite a bit in common. The one defining moment in our relationship that told me she was definitely the one...just like in the movie...we had just finished going to dinner and we went back to the car, being the gentleman that I am I opened the door for her and went over to my side and she had leaned over and opened the lock on my door for me...definitely a keeper!
We had been dating for just over a year when we decided to buy a home and move in together. Since then we have also had a new addition to our family...our little Yorkie named "Buddy".
A few months ago, I knew that after living with Donna for one year that I wanted to make this a permanent arrangement. I loved everything about her such as her family, personality, views and the way she handled me. I can be quite a handful but she knows how to deal with all of my good and bad points. I knew that the ring had to be special, as special as she is to me. I made the poor jeweller go through 10 diamonds before I picked the one that I thought reflected the perfection I see in her. The big moment approached and I could not believe that after all of these years I was about to propose marriage. The whole thing was like a big blur as I was so nervous that I can't even remember if I said the words. I am not even sure that she said yes. Like most couples we have our everyday challenges but we work well together and I look forward to spending the rest of my life with her.
After a long search and an evasive beginning I am pleased to say that on
Donna, I wrote this to you to let you know how much “I Love You” and that I am so happy that you are in my life.
XOXO Sam 